A Brief Admonition

I originally kicked off this blog around April 2022. It’s now February 2026 and nearly 4 years (a.k.a one quadrennium¹) have passed. How has this blog progressed?

• I published 3 posts (including this one).
• I authored 9 draft posts (defined as an unpublished post over 300 words with an average/median word count of ~2000/2300 words).
• I sketched out 9 post ideas (defined as an unpublished post with 300 words or less).

If I also count unpublished draft posts, then my average post output over the past 4 years is 3 posts/year.

On the one hand, I feel proud that I have maintained some form of writing in the midst of the busy-ness of life. On the other hand, I feel like this blog has fallen short of the dream that I had when I started it (more on that below). Adding to my own confusion, I have been wondering lately how much of the desire to produce this blog came from trying to be somebody.

Let me continue on this last point for a moment. I believe, in the last decade, two dictums took root broadly in the online tech discourse:

1. You need a blog.

   Why? Because job, usually (c.f. you need open-source contributions) and also because professionals (and cool people) have them. But sometimes, because you must…

2. Produce, don’t consume.

   Or, in other words, via building, become a productive netizen and reject the vicious cycle of doom-scrolling and societal passivity that increasingly define the modern internet age.

   Unsurprisingly, among tech enthusiasts, this usually means some kind of software, web page, or blog.

And so, as I began this blog, I think that these two ideas (combined with my own perfectionistic tendencies and a sizeable backlog of unpolished ideas) coalesced into this grand and grotesque vision: a blog that would both prove my career and my mettle, resolute against the empty clamor of a vampiric social media.

But as time passed, that lofty vision became a burden. Each post needed to be well-crafted and well-researched (and hopefully at least a little bit interesting…). Under that pressure, writing felt like a chore rather than an opportunity and incomplete sketches began to pile up. As the months and then years went by, at a subconscious level, I was anxious.

If professionals and cool people and productive netizens write and produce, what does this heap of unpublished blog posts say about me?

Writing is hard enough without FOMO and shame muddying the waters. It requires time and discipline and passion and the courage to publish. It may sound cliché, but I don’t want to keep carrying the weight of trying to be that guy anymore.

To be clear, it’s not that I wish to abandon this blog or to jettison all standards of writing or clarity of thought; far from it. What I want is to make peace with my own writing process and to let go of unrealistic and unhelpful expectations for what is currently a minor side-project in an otherwise full life.

When did technological output become a measure of my legacy on the same level as lasting friendships, a healthy family, and a thriving community?

If you (or I) write or produce, let it be because we find joy in the journey.